How Will I Tell MY Sons…

How do I explain to my sons ….

How do I explain to my sons that the beautiful black skin they are in won’t be loved by others?

How do I explain to my sons that their strong – chiseled physique will be intimidating to those who don’t poses the same features?

How do I explain they will be feared for merely educating themselves with knowledge of where they come from and who they are destined to be?

How do I explain to sons the difference between cooperation and complacency?

How will I explain to them they are at risk of losing their lives for reaching for their phones and wallets?

How will I explain to my daughters they are valuable in A world that sees them only as objects?

How will I explain to my daughters they will be pushed against one another because one will be more “ desirable “ due to her fake skin and the other ridiculed for being dark chocolate like her matriarch queen ?

How will someone explain to me my son being shot dead in the street , a knee on his neck while he screams he can breathe , being gunned down while buying skittles , executed while complying all because they are BLACK!

How will WE make this change?

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Break the “Crabs in a Bucket” Cliche’

I have only been an Author and Business owner for a bit over two years now ! And the more and more I learn it’s like the saying goes ” More Money more problems! Although I’m still broke haha

I noticed how many people you know hate you the more blessings come your way. It’s people you wouldn’t expect. People you considered friends or even family who work HARD to bring you down . Criticizing your work or efforts or bad mouthing you in the business community in order to make you look bad so others won’t want to work with you . I personally have seen my logos ( which are trademarked by the way ) blatantly STOLEN! My slogans for my website even.

My boyfriend is the one person I always express my anger with and how hard I work for myself and the things that I do and he says ” it’s because you’re innovative ” of course he was trying to make me feel better and it did help for a bit.

But the more I see the more it makes me angry ! WHY are we bringing other people down that we could be helping? I know I don’t mind helping and I don’t need the credit because that’s just me . If I’m asked for help I give it because I want to see others succeed. But to take and take and then not reciprocate or to feel as though someone’s helping hand is no longer of value when the benefits are solely for the gain of the person you’re helping is just blatant fuckery!

Brett Sayles Via Pexels.com

I’m sick of seeing people tear one another down in any type of business ! No support , trash talking or even taking ideas and not even being original about it . What happened to building one another up ? What happened to wanting to see people make it ? Especially those who come from some of the same communities or struggles ?

WHY is it that there is always bullshit when it comes to business ! Holding someone down doesn’t boost you up . You’re at a stepping stone where you will need the person ahead of you to pull you forward ! And so on and so forth! We ALL start from somewhere and we all have humbling experiences so there is never a need to look down on someone or purposely try and diminish their businesses or characters for gain !

My hope is that everyone learns we are in this together! Teaching each other and building one another up only makes us stronger. Not only as a community but as individuals! There is room for all of us to win ! But we can’t win trying to make someone else lose.

What the F*** Now!

Hey Guys ,it been almost 2 months since I had a Blog. SOOORRRRY ! BUT not sorry. I have been trying to catch up with what now is my reality and truly how to handle it all as it comes. I have been trying to learn ways to keep myself organized as an Author, continuing to learn how to run a successful business and find the time to complete my novel.

All of these things literally thrown at me in the span of a years time.  Four books and keeping myself innovative in an ever so changing business and finally accomplishing my first step in making a name for myself . I had to stop and ask ” What the F*** now?”

What do I do with myself, and how do I continue to accomplish the goals that I set for myself when all I want to do is drink a glass of wine and take a nap. And sadly experiencing my first experience with a ” hater” in the business has all be such an overwhelming experience. I never knew how much would come my way with just following my passion. As exciting as its been I have become discouraged in many aspects. Writing a novel or telling ” my story” in other words has become challenging and I am not sure If I can do it. Experiencing business sabotage from my peers. It has left me wanting to stop everything that I have worked so hard for. I did not sign up to have bullshit coming my way from doing the thing that I love the most, and I for sure don’t want to put out work that isn’t good enough for at least one reader. I have even debated so heavily leaving my job before I return from my maternity leave.

But then I asked myself the question again. WHAT THE FUCK NOW! Then I had to give myself a pep talk ! Remind myself that I am a mother of six, an Author of FOUR books that took my blood, sweat, and tears to accomplish. Let myself know that it took me 31 years of bullshit jobs, bad relationships, bad decisions, and countless career changes in order for me to find my true calling. So whats next is I pick my head up, I continue to speak my truth, spread my imaginative thoughts to others and I write my ass off until I have  become a best selling Author. And only THEN will I be able to have that glass of wine ( or a few) and my much needed nap.

 

Envious BAE!!

I’ve come to realize that your spouse being jealous of you is a REAL THING ! I mean think about it ! Have you ever been in the middle of a real glow up and the first person you want to give the good news to is your love . And the first thing out their mouth is the total opposite of excitement ? Or a dry response like ” that’s nice ”

Even the times you have such amazing ideas that you expect the world to look at you crazy for and you assume you can tell your partner and all they have to say is ” no, you can’t do that ” But WHY? Where does the jealousy come from and why wouldn’t the closest person to you celebrate you and all that you have going on ? In my opinion it’s envious behavior!

It’s no different from an outsider or a “hater” trying to downplay your abilities to make themselves feel or look better than you . They want to  put the bug in your ear or fill your head with discouraging thoughts. It’s because they simply feel that they don’t have the abilities to exceed as much as you have ! Instead of being supportive , being happy or proud to say that my man/woman is doing big things and maybe it’s just not my moment   And it’s OK to take turns being in the spot light !

Having a partner who is resilient, intelligent and hardworking shouldn’t be intimidating. Those things should make you want to step your game up and do better ! Not bring them down because you’re afraid to grow! I know often times the male ego gets in the way of the big picture ! Certain men believe that because they ” wear the pants ” that they should be the one in the lime light ! And that their woman should never outshine them because they feel less than. And I’m sorry my success gone rub you wrong til you step it up !!

Yet, taking away the excitement of someone else for your own personal reasons is so selfish and it’s beyond hurtful! Why would anyone want to maintain a relationship with someone who isn’t growing or flourishing! Personally I love to see those around me doing well and happy. I love knowing that the person I love is doing big things so I can show the world I get to lay next to a boss every night! It makes me proud to see my partner win !

I feel that many of us have experienced a jealous ex and had no idea what the signs were . But play close attention to people who say they love you and want to see you happy but don’t show it in their actions

Cocky, Yet Humble !

I know its been a short while since I have done a blog (Please forgive me ) BUT I haven’t really had much to talk about. Until recently I have started to pay more attention to things people say when it comes to being humble or boasting about your accomplishments.

Everyone somehow seems to feel that being proud of yourself is some how being cocky. That it should not be done because it makes someone who hasn’t reached their peek feel some type of way . That every accomplishment you reach should be kept a secret. BUT FOR WHAT ?! Why am I accommodating the egos of others? Why do I have to feel ashamed of saying I’m proud of myself or allowing others to know the things that I have done with great pride ? We don’t get upset with rappers and singers flashing their name brands and jewelry around. So who says that being proud isn’t the way ?

I feel like for anyone who has maybe had a rough start in their  careers or just now deciding to go back to school , or just started a business has the right to be happy for themselves and to be proud !

I say this because I have found myself for many years helping others achieve their goals and being the biggest cheerleader. And while doing so I have never had an ounce of envy. My first thought was always to ask myself ; who is in my corner to be supportive as I take my leap of faith and fulfill my purpose. How do I get to the place that will make me proud of ME! I have published three books in less than a years time. From the first release of my book I got an amazing amount of feedback and support and I never really took into consideration the fact that I AM AN AUTHOR. My words, and thoughts and feelings are at the fingertips of those who know me personally and those who may never meet me in their life. Yet, I held my excitement in because naturally I still did not feel as though this was such a major accomplishment compared to others. Then I released my second and third book back to back. Then releasing two small brands of clothing.

Then it finally dawned on me that I have the right to be proud of myself. I have the right to say this was my journey to these small successes and there will only be more things to come for me in the future. I found that me finally saying that “I’m here, I’ve done this,” and still being HUMBLE enough to help others has set me apart from the ” cocky” stereotype. I think its imperative that women or anyone for that matter take their accomplishments with great pride because only we know the journey it took in order to get there.